1. Your standards become warped
What used to be the “7 Up Rule” (only consider guys that are a seven or higher) has now succumbed to you thinking the guy at the gym with the shell necklace and chinese symbol tattoo on his ankle to be “not that bad.” You think the dude in cargo shorts and crocks “has potential” and you even start to bypass checking for wedding rings.
2. Your personal habits become questionable.
This isn’t to say you stop showering, you’re not barbaric. But you probably don’t shave every time before you go out because it’s been so long, you just assume you’re not getting laid. You eat that burrito for lunch because no one’s going to see you naked anytime soon, and you don’t think twice about wearing leggings to the bar because you’ve given up on ‘lookin.
3. Even your family starts to give up on your love life.
What used to be holidays filled with spiked eggnog and Nana asking how many boyfriends you have is now filled with relatives not thinking twice about you flying solo at the Christmas brunch. Your mom sends you a gift on Valentines day so you don’t feel alone, and on more than one occasion a relative has hinted towards the idea that you might swing the other way. And not even the senile ones.
4. You look to the Internet for help.
You only turn to dating websites when you start to run out of real life options. Once that third back burner bro has managed to get a girlfriend and the well seems to be running dry, you turn to EHarmony, ChristianMingle, and even think you could be the next Tinderella.
People may claim there are plenty more fish in the sea, but I bet you never imagined having to pay $9.99 a month to go virtual fishing.
5. You’ve become bitter and cynical about love
Any person in your view partaking in PDA should be sentenced to capital punishment. You’ve gone beyond the point just not liking it – you will go out of your way to stare them down, roll your eyes, and make them feel as uncomfortable as you are bitter.
You want the address to Nicholas Sparks house so you can burn it down for these UNREACHABLE standards of love, and sometimes you secretly hope some of your friends relationships don’t work out so you have someone to by miserable with.
6. Loneliness starts to fuck with your logic.
Single you thinks getting a cat is a great idea because it would be nice to have a furball companion to cuddle with at night, that your mom setting you up on a blind date isn’t THAT bad of an idea, and that hitting up your ex that you had a toxic relationship with might actually work out on the now tenth attempt.
7. You get too involved with other peoples relationships
The idea of third wheeling your friends doesn’t even make you uncomfortable anymore because you’re forced to do it so often. Your roommates boyfriend picks you up dinner when they do take-out so you feel included, and you don’t even complain about your friends talking about their relationships too much because you are just vicariously living through them.