“Yeah, I can’t go out tonight. I have to do laundry.”
1. You firmly believe that the Dyson Ball vacuum is one of the greatest inventions of our time.2. And infomercials are now pretty damn convincing.3. You’ve debated which toilet bowl cleaner to purchase.4. But know exactly which toilet paper to buy.5. You enjoy going to Bed Bath & Beyond.6. And Pottery Barn.7. Candles make you happy.8. So do new socks.9. You understand the importance of good Tupperware.10. You’ve brought a dish over to someone’s home.11. And you’re still pissed that they haven’t returned it yet.
12. You consider going to the post office as a “busy weekend.”13. You’d rather just stay home than go out.14. You know to avoid certain drinks/shots.15. And you actually avoid them.16. Crowded places easily frustrate you.17. You have a strong desire to make your own pizza.18. You know the best place to get a salad.19. You realize your metabolism is not what it used to be.20. You’ve discussed this issue with your friends.21. You believe eating Honey Nut Cheerios is indulging.
22. You Googled how to file your own taxes…23. …and then filed your own taxes.24. You’ve gotten upset over a recycling-related issue.25. You’ve asked about good dentists in your area.26. A yard is something on your wish list.27. Same with a nice washer and dryer.28. And you dream of a bedroom with large windows…29. …and a home with a nice kitchen.30. Looking at real estate and home decor is basically a hobby at this point.31. You have a “future home” board on Pinterest.
32. It feels like everyone around you is getting engaged.33. Or married.34. Or having kids.35. You wake up early on days you can sleep in.36. You no longer care what you look like when going to the store across the street.37. Wine is your best friend.38. And Netflix is your most reliable buddy.39. You get teary-eyed during wedding scenes in movies.40. You’ve canceled plans so you could do laundry.41. You cannot believe people were born in the 2000s.
42. The celebrities at the Kids’ Choice Awards are complete strangers to you.43. You no longer know every song on the radio.44. Or every artist in the Top 40.45. You’ve found yourself explaining why your favorite childhood TV shows were better than what’s on TV now.46. You have to stretch before doing any sort of physical activity.47. A massage is literally always what you need right now.48. You’ve had to look up internet slang.49. You’ve said the wrong number when someone has asked your age.50. You had a brief moment when you literally forgot how old you are.51. You just like to sit down sometimes.52. And other times you just NEED to sit down.53. You grunt when you sit down and get up.54. Teenagers annoy you.55. You wish you were a kid again.56. You clicked on this post.